Who I am?

In my nineteen years of living, I have realised and am still realising that it's tough being who you truly are. Expectations to meet, dreams of others to be fulfilled, standards to be live up to and it never ever stops. It seems to be that people dictate your life, telling you what you can do and what you cannot. Places you can go yet at the same time boundaries you cannot tread upon. Funny how the grass is always greener on the other side.

I came across this stranger who then became an inspiration and my muse, just in the wrong way. It became more of feeding on him for selfish illogical reasons. It helped painted a facade that strategically avoided the judgment of other people. Ripping him off completely was bad and relating or pretending that his life was mine is even worst. An actor once said, "Somebody got to stand up to say enough is enough."

Ever felt as if you can run from life in hope that it will never catch up with you? For a 'simple' word, it sure do run pretty fast.

Maybe it's normal to be living double standard lives, showing people what you want them to see, telling them what you want them to think and perceive you and your life to be, maybe it's not. But sometimes you are in the midst of wrong so much that it subconsciously becomes right.

But i guess at the end of the day, like someone once told me, "You have to be who you are and not what others expect you to be."

So this is it, a second chance, a redemptive start to living.

"To truly live, you have to die to yourself."