quote, unquote.

This post is nearly twenty four days overdue, but Happy New Year everyone. Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear.

Have you ever had the feeling somedays where you’re playing keepie-uppies with the whole world on your feet and you’re trying to keep it all up in the air, and you somehow get the feeling that you’re gonna drop the ball soon and you panick and bounce it extra hard to keep it in the air; and ironically its always that final desperate touch that loses you the ball and your whole world?

It feels like a million things are pulling me apart at the same time, and I’m not man enough to justify myself to all those things and people that need me. I’m starting to feel like Jon Foreman’s opening line for Revenge all over again.

There all so many people I should be accountable to right now but it seems as if everything is screwing up one after another, and I’m pulling all the stops and burning them out in an attempt to give everybody what they need, but somehow at the end of the day I fail everyone yet again.

I want to win. I want to get through the day without the feeling that I’m failing everyone. I want to light up something in all those people who mean something to me, but I can’t shake off this thought that I’m a bitter disappointment.

I wrestled the angel for more than a name, but now it seems as if I have nothing but.

Recent conversations have led me thinking about the events that wrenched me from and led me back to unfamiliar arms, and I can’t say I’m complete.