Big Ben Theory

a friend that always wear a smile,
a friend that always never fails to help,
a friend that nevers get angry,
a friend that never gives in to circumstances,

a friend that is more than a friend,

a friend that is willing to sacrifice for his friends,
a friend that did leave a legacy in this sin-soaked world,
for many to follow,

that friend is called samuel.

goodbye dude.

you will be missed,

and will always be part of my memory.

you are indeed a great friend.

goodbye.

love,

ben.

in the midst of studying.

or rather stoning.

i just cannot concentrate. no sense of direction, no feel of studying.




for the past few days, it has been very surreal,
but yet, it feels so real.
what a painful irony.

the realness;
the pain,
the agony,
the feeling of losing someone,
someone that i love,
someone that is a friend,
someone that no one can ever replace.

cremation was today.
the last that we would ever see him again.

eyes swelled.

hearts crushed.

more tears.

more questions.

as i walked past the coffin the very last time for the last respects,

there then, i was lost for words,
and could only mummur "bye dude. bye."

i dont usually cry,
but today, it was different.

tears just streamed down.

to me, putting on a brave front doesnt matter anymore.

it was my friend that was lying there.

if only i could do something,
i would.

i dont know how am i going to study, or for the matter of fact, concentrate.

i dont know how am i going to take my 2 papers tomorrow.

i dont know, seriously dont know.