Hello. It's been so long and the last time i blogged was probably in the days of Noah and his titanic ship. Just that it didn't sink. The difference between god-made, and man-made.
I guess that's a good thing now considering that I am the only person reading this.
Just suddenly felt a need to account for my life. Weird.
Well how long has it been? Four months? Guess I am pretty busy with the things of this world, sorting out my life and getting it back to order. I currently have a lot of my plate, juggling work, family, church and friends is no easy feat considering i screw up on most. Trust me when i say it's not easy.
This blog has seen me through the years, the toughest times where almost every day was a living hell. Remember the valediction entry where a certain time of my life, people just came, go, failed and disappoint. I can name names but lets not go there shall we. This blog too, has also seen me through the happiest moments of my life, from the times i re-account about ah lians to my O level results and the list goes on. God has indeed seen me through though yes i have to admit, sometimes you just feel like walking away. But the more I look back and see the hand of grace upon my life, the more i start to see the bigger picture. It's true that sometimes, you got to look back in order to move forward.
So yes, the next phase of my life is about to start - ARMY. Some love it, many hate it. I'm in the hate category but i'm just going with an open mindset and a positive attitude. There are a lot of questions battling in my mind, such as - "is there hot water to bathe", "can i tweet while training", "how long am i confined" and yes the questions goes on. Never a single day i wake up not thinking about how detrimental army will be and why must it be compulsory. So bullshit to the free will speech. But hey, i'm embracing it as it comes, so BRING IT ON. Haven't even seen the enlistment letter yet. It's somewhere buried in my pile of dirty laundry. Probably still living in denial.
I must say that this year has been one hell of a roller-coaster ride for me. Good and bad. If you know me, i run from the screeching sounds of rides as such. So yeah, not too big a fan of roller-coasters, realistically and metaphorically speaking.
If there's one thing i have learned in the course of my absence from blogging would be, you got to fight for what you love and who you love, even if it means thinking you're getting nowhere. Don't give up based on your assumptions. Think about it, if love came cheap, Jesus wouldn't have suffer such a painful death.
There would be no passion in this world if we never had to fight for what we love.
I have realised and am still realising, that i'm am blessed to be a blessing. Going to make it the anthem of my life. Like "Hi, My Name is Ben and i'm blessed to be a blessing.". Makes a very good job interview opening sentence.
Lastly, to vindicate my absence, i'm now walking by faith, believing for even greater, believing for more.
Trying to keep entries from now on as simple as ABC. I find that the more i analyse sentences and try to make them look good, the more the truth of what i really want to say is tainted. I want to be as genuine as possible. Like transparent, considering, in hope that no one reads my blog.
Forgiveness is never easy. Bitterness is easy. Hatred is easy. But forgiveness, that's a tough one. Sometimes, people say things they don't mean or do things they can't take back. Sometimes we do things we can't take back. So we feed ourselves to starve the pain.
To you,
I love you more than i can say. Aww.
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