I'm still thinking that I am the only one that knows about the reemerging of this blog despite my visit counter jumping up by 30 in less than a day. Haha.
Anyway, at this point, I find myself to be very confused. I'm not sure what i want in this friendship/relationship. I would love to openly state and go into detail but the counter speaks - there are people reading, and i cannot afford any judgments or gossips. Yes, people talk.
Funny how it's your own personal space to voice out all your negativity floating in your head but at the end of the day, if you really look at it, blogging is not a personal space anymore. Bloggers blog for readers. Attention seeking? Maybe, I don't really know. And sadly, it's the very 'people' that read are the very same ones that endlessly pass of judgments consciously and/or otherwise. Some might even call you their good friend but no one is perfect. It's in their nature. I was bitten and now i'm twice shy.
You know previously i mentioned about fighting hard for who and what you love. Then again, I ask myself, what do i love? Who do i care for? Maybe that's why i'm the confused kid described in the first para. Maybe I just do not know what i want. Yes I have my dreams, aspirations and heavenly goals but i'm not talking about that.
You know what I mean. So as I take this pilgrimage to finding out what exactly are the desires of my heart, i'll tell you. Till then.
P.S i'm going to blog regularly. Feels good in a quirky way.
P.P.S I woke up today with a revelation that I'm only enlisting to Army next next tuesday. And for a week or so I actually convinced myself that my freedom ends next tuesday. I'm not even in army and i'm already showing signs of panic and silent breakdown.
Oh God be with me.
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